Another day, another anti-game study. Only this one is even more idiotic than usual.

Obviously as tired of finding tenuous links between violent games and psychotic behaviour as we are hearing about them, someone has gone and decided that there’s a link between playing violent games and, get this, “permissive attitudes” towards drugs and alcohol, as well as that great evil that has blighted humanity since the beginning (cover your eyes now, children)…sex.

I almost feel bad for giving this shit exposure. As stupid as I find the idea, it’s not a huge jump in logic to say that virtual violence would beget actual violence, but this one is just ludicrous. OK, so GTA and its ilk might, in places, depict a culture that encourages drugs and they’re rated as such, but to say that violent games encourage drug and alcohol abuse is absurd. I can’t remember the last game I played that did anything to encourage alcohol (in Oblivion drinking ale lowers your intelligence), and even if sex was starting to pervade games in the same pernicious way that “urban” culture has, Hot Coffee put paid to that.

Like most people of my age I enjoy the occasional drink and I’ll admit to trying weed once, but does that constitute a drug problem or rampant alcoholism? I concede that I feel an urge to have sex without the need to get married that of course naturally follows, but I’m willing to put that down to hormones and absolve the Call of Duty 2 that I just played. There’s nothing like a rifle and some dead Russians to get me in the mood for some lovin’, baby!

I can only imagine that these asinine studies keep happening simply because they guarantee mucho exposure as indignant gamers try to DDoS the culprits. That means I’m a part of the problem by giving it exposure, so I suggest that you don’t look up who did it, don’t click any links to it, and if you show it to anyone else make sure to laugh your ass off at it. Treat it like the joke it is, which is something that Penny Arcade do well.