Land of the Dead Unrated Impressions

My Land of the Dead Unrated DVD arrived yesterday a during the week, almost a week ahead of the official release and I’ve had a chance to watch it as a huge fan of the original Dead trilogy. The genre seemed to be on the way back in with 28 Days Later (good, but not great) and the remake of Romero’s own seminal Dawn of the Dead (also good, but not great), but the only way to truly make one is to put the megaphone back in the hand of the man himself. He practically created the genre with Night of the Living Dead and so deserves to represent it, without running zombies and rawk soundtracks but with some old school “ban this filth” gore.

What a waste of a fence

LOTD certainly doesn’t disappoint on the gore front. I don’t know how much of this made it into the 15-rated UK theatrical version but this unrated version has bodies being torn apart, faces torn off, heads ripped off, limbs eaten, countless chunks bitten out of people, and that’s just off the top of my head. Nothing quite as creative as the helicopter blades in Dawn or funny as the “choke on ’em” from Day, but it does a decent job. Those who saw the hardcore online only trailer with the tongue eating should know that there’s even more graphic goodness than that.

I guess even Romero has to make some attempt to evolve the concept without making corpses that run like Linford fucking Christie, and he makes zombies that are more than idiots by taking the idea of Bub from Day and running with it, making the whole zombie population start to become more intelligent. There’s only really one that does the thinking, but the rest are still able to understand and follow him while he concentrates on feeling remorse over zombies that are killed (again?), firing a gun randomly, teaching others to fire guns, and not being mesmerised by fireworks. It’s not badly done and he does, to his credit, have Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright in his entourage, but I kind of like the brainless zombies that overpower us purely by weight of numbers and the fact that they’re tough to kill. There are plenty of other intelligent enemies in other genres and sub-genres, so do we need to evolve the zombie?

As a film, LOTD isn’t bad. Once you get past the fast and furious beginning it slows rapidly, before taking you into a third act which just assaults you on several fronts and reminds you why zombies are cool. It’s the slow middle section which is the weakest, not just for being slow (Dawn was hardly action-packed, after all) but because the story just isn’t that strong. It’s not bad but it’s very much secondary to the action and blood, which makes it a weaker movie than Dawn. Perhaps falling short of Dawn was inevitable, but the action was fun enough that I prefer it to Day of the Dead.

In short: Dawn > Night > Land > Day. Worth watching but don’t expect something as classic as the first two instalments of the series.

Fahrenheit Review

I’ve just gotten around to finishing the review of Fahrenheit (Indigo Prophecy in the States) which you can find here. I enjoyed it and think that it deserves attention and I think the review reflects that, so give it a look if you have some interest in the game. Of course it can be found permanently in the review index.

BBFC Ratings for Games

Sonic Gems Collection

Giving a handful of games BBFC ratings is nothing new as any games with significant violent or sexual content will usually lead to the publisher paying to get one by choice, both to protect themselves from angry right-wing newspapers and because it’s something of a badge of honour to anyone under 18 to get their smelly little hands on them. Obviously the Manhunts and Grand Theft Autos of the world get those big red 18 ratings on the front covers but the kiddie platformers stuck with the unenforced PEGI ratings (the European equivalent of the American ELSPA ratings). Over the last few weeks, however, I’ve seen this changing.

You can probably see from the attached picture that Sonic Gems Collection, obviously not the most adult game in the world (although Sonic is clearly punching violently and Metal Sonic is gesturing aggressively with his frightening claws), has the big green “U” triangle, the same as a “G” rating. It obviously wouldn’t require it since it’s exempt from classification, so why would Sega pay to get it rated when they don’t need to?

I should also point out that Sonic Gems Collection isn’t the only game to do this, but it’s the only one I could find with its cover art on Amazon. I know that today I saw a new classic arcade compilation (I forget which one since they’re all identical and similarly overpriced) which carried a “U” rating, and although I can’t remember specifics there were several more which had “U” and “PG” ratings, neither of which would have warranted a BBFC rating.

A game can actually be as violent and depraved as it wants without being forced to get a rating (video games are exempt from classification under the Video Recordings Act 1984, as amended in 1993, at the moment), but the companies go for them anyway to cover their ass in case a kid gets hold of it and does something stupid. That way they can say that the 18 rating makes it illegal for someone under 18 to buy it and so it wasn’t their fault since they did everything they could have legally done to keep it out of underage hands.

The reason for this odd phenomenon with games aimed at a younger audience is almost certainly the same reason that they choose to go for the ratings on adult games – parents don’t know what PEGI is but they’ve grown up with BBFC ratings, and having them on some games and not others just seems to devalue them. By slapping those ratings (and oversized ones at that) on there they’re hoping that people will actually take notice and not be confused by them. If the industry is to stop people jumping on them whenever a kid does something bad, it’s important that they do what they can to help people understand that games aren’t a thing only for kids to play anymore and that nowadays your wholesome platform hero is just as likely to swear profusely and pull out a bazooka as he is to pick up magic flowers on his way to rescue the princess. Until the public get this into their thick skulls it’s important that the industry does what it can to raise awareness.

New Photo Gallery

I’ve been using the Flickr Gallery plugin for WordPress to handle my photo gallery for some time and I’m actually very happy with it because it does precisely what I want it to do, but unfortunately Flickr, in their infinite wisdom, have seen fit to decide to force the merging of Flickr and Yahoo accounts, providing zero benefit to the users and breaking compatibility with every third-party application out there. Doubly unfortunately the plugin that I was using is no longer being updated so it’s living on borrowed time, forcing me to switch to something newer.

Thankfully the creator of the Flickr Gallery plugin, Ramon Darrow, has provided a link to an excellent alternative, FAlbum. It works with the updated authentication protocol and generates some nice looking (if slightly cluttered, but that’s nothing a bit of fiddling can’t fix) galleries that work pretty much in the same way as the old plugin. It’s not quite ready to go completely live as my replacement for Flickr Gallery because I haven’t gotten it to respect my stylesheet and layout yet and I want to make it pay somehow for all the grief it gave me getting it to work in the first place (it even managed to corrupt my .htaccess file, making the whole site inaccessible) but hopefully it’ll be done before the end of the week. It’ll save a lot of work and tears when the Flickr switchover happens next year.

You’re Governated

This is hilarious for its hypocrisy.

Now I’m all for controlling whether or not kids can get their hands on games that are meant for adults – they do it with films and games here and the world is yet to implode and it gives the moral crusaders of the world one less thing to hold against our industry – but the fact that this guy has the gall to tell people what is appropriate just makes me laugh. This is a guy who:

  • Has a string of sexual harrassment accusations against his name, including several in the recent future.
  • Admitted engaging in orgies.
  • Admitted using illegal drugs and steroids (which are sometimes named after him in bodybuilding slang).
  • Had parents in the Nazi party and invited a suspected Nazi war criminal, Kurt Waldheim, to his wedding.
  • Said this:

“Ninety-five percent of the people in the world need to be told what to do and how to behave.”

Of course I haven’t even started on the fact that this guy starred in some of the most violent films ever made where he did most of the killing himself, including Conan, The Terminator, Predator, Commando, Total Recall, and End of Days. These have some controls in place to stop kids laying their hands on them but it’s still absurd to me that a man who reached fame and fortune through his portrayals of violent killers can be vilifying games that depict content that is “heinous, atrocious, or cruel.”

GamesTM 37 Out Now

Issue 37 of GamesTM is out now with more Olly goodness. In this one I actually got to write something of substance so you can find my Great Retro Gaming Moment (Rainbow Road from Super Mario Kart) on page 147 and my Why Don’t They Remake (Unirally) on page 148. Since I have 1.5 pages that means I control 0.833% of the magazine, so soon it will be mine!

It’s actually not a bad issue with some good stuff on Liberty City Stories and the new Prince of Persia, but the fact that they review Ouendan (8/10) and have stuff by me pushes it into must-have territory.